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Showing posts from May, 2009

OFFICE FUN

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Relationship Between Employer & Emploment

KNOCK KNOCK JOKES

Knock Knock Jokes Paradise Knock, knock! who's there?BooBoo who?Don't cry, it's only a joke!Knock, knock! who's there?EarlEarl who?Earl be glad to tell you when you open the door.Knock, knock! who's there?EmmaEmma who?Emma bit Knock Knock(yours are pretty sad!) Knock Knockwhose there?GladiatorGladiator who?Gladiator before the gang bang!for those of you who are very slow!!!Clue- glad he ate her Go away Knock knock? Go away!Knock knock?I said go away!Knock knock?Get the hell off of my damn porch before I shoot you! Nerd Jokes Nerd SeasonA truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER A

SMS JOKES

Friendship SMS Jokes Friendship SMS Jokes My Friendship is like an onion, Which has many layers in it,it will add taste to your life, but if you try to cut it, you will have tears in your eyes. General SMS Jokes General SMS JokesSon: Dad, how much is 5+5?Dad: You dumb, You don't know this, go and get a calculator. The Shoe The Shoe One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife. Later that nigh

SMS JOKES

Some One Mix hve very few words 2 describe u..dis only 10% description bout her You are every Writer's Dream. You are every Poet's Melody. You are every Hero's Love. You are every Musician's Soul. You are every Ar Funny SMS Jokes for you! 1) SOMETIMES WE PUT WALLS AROUND OUR HEART, NOT JUST TO B SAFE FROM GETTING HURT, BUT TO FIND OUT WHO CARES ENOUGH TO BREAK THEM DOWN..!!GN 2) A warm HELLO doesn’t come from d lips, it comes from d hea Love SMS So many questions, but the answers are so few, all i really know, is, I MISS YOU ! Roses of red grow in my heart and they will never wither... 'Cause they bloom every time I see your smile, hear your

SMS JOKES

Excuse TO smoke Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit. Some More SMS Jokes Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!" The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, whenever u insert the sim card of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling. ... Great SMS Jokes Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just like you and me.. you are getting older and i am getting sweeter. I want u... To be with me In a nice Restaurent To have candle lig

SMS JOKES

Friendly SMS A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.If you need advice, text me... if you need a friend, call me ... if you need me, come to me... if you need money... SENDER CANNOT BE REACHED! Friends a SMS Flirting Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven! Be unique and different, just say yes. Bai carumba... are those real? Can I flirt with you? Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living? Do you know Indian desi SMS Jokes Gabber Singh ka janam hua to usko maa ne jor se thappad mara. Poocho kyo? . . . . . . . Maa se poochta tha: Kitne aadmi the?

SMS JOKES

Good Morning SMS May you begin this day with a smile on your face, and with happiness for your soul to embrace. Good Morning my loveI try to Beeee the best friend i can beeeee, so here u go, some Goodmorning flowers r Christmas SMS wish you and your family a happy Easter and make your all days full of success and happiness ()"""() ,* ( 'o' ) ,*** =(,,)=("')<-*** (""),,,("") " Love SMS i love the 'y'i love the 'o'i love the 'u'put them together and i love 'you'(\_/)(=.=)(")(")a sweet little rabbit, just like you, because I love you!! kisses...In the morning I do not eat bec

SMS JOKES

Flirt SMS U R 100% beautiful,U R 100% lovely,U R 100% sweet,U R 100% nice, andU R 100% stupid to believe these words...Open with Love...If I disturb UI am Sorry!But I needTo SayI...Love...Disturbing you...i loo Blessings Ang dami plang blessngs kpag tumatanda! May SILVER sa buhok GOLD sa ipin STONES sa kidney SUGAR sa dugo OIL sa mukha GAS sa tiyan! At plake sa PUSO…! Best Wishes SMS May the angels protect U..May sadness 4get U..May goodness surround U..May happiness be round U..and may God always bless U..!!When time comes for u to give ur heart to someone, make sure u select som

FUNNY STORIES

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Boy Robo The StoryA robot boy is created when a brilliant inventor accidentally exposes his expectant wife to a secret transforming ray during a labratory experiment. The half boy, half robot child is born to shocked, but very proud parents. With the aid of his father, BoyRobo becomes the defender of Delta City. A Hero is born!!

FUNNY ARTICAL

12 Days Of Help desk Original: "12 Days of Christmas" On the first day of Christmas, a user gave to me A problem with E.T. On the second day of Christmas, a user gave to me Two VendaCards and a problem with E.T. On the third day of Christmas, a user gave to me Three dead disks, Two venda cards, and a problem with E.T. On the fourth day of Christmas, a user gave to me Four virused files, three dead disks, Two VendaCards, and a problem with E.T. On the fifth day of Christmas, a user gave to me Five Token Rings (*snap!*) Four virused files, three dead disks, Two VendaCards, and a problem with E.T. On the sixth day of Christmas, a user gave to me Six servers crashing, Five Token Rings (*snap!*) Four viruses files, three dead disks, Two Venda Cards, and a problem with E.T. On the seventh day of Christmas, a user gave to me Seven files missing, six servers crashing, Five Token Rings (*snap!*) Four viruses files, three dead disks, Two Venda Cards, and a problem with E.T. On the eigh

FUNNY ARTICAL

Brother & Sister Jokes So you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?Yes- their dog is our dog''s brother. A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. ''Well,'' said the Scout. ''Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it.'' First Boy: Why is your brother always flying off the handle ?Second Boy: Because he''s got a screw loose ! Peter: My brother wants to work badly!Anita: As I remember, he usually does ! Dan: My little brother is a real pain.Nan: Things could be worse.Dan: How?Nan: He could be twins !

FUNNY ARTICAL

Mexican driving a BMW What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW? Grand Theft Auto. Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US! Why wasn’t Jesus born in Mexico? He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin. (burn) Why do Mexicans drive low riders? They are too short to get into any other type of car. What is the greatest Mexican invention? A solar powered flash light. Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans? Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time? What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike? Chase after him, it’s probably yours! Why are Mexicans so short? When they’re young, their parents say, “When you get bigger you have to get a good job.” What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed. How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Doesn’t matter, they’re to short to reach the socket. How do you get 50 Mexicans is a phone booth? Throw food stamps in it.

FUNNY ARTICAL

Confucius Says Confucius Says: Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion. Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer. When lady say `no?she mean `perhaps?when she say `perhaps?she mean `yes?but when she say `yes? she not a lady. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read. Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.

FUNNY ARTICAL

Unlucky Young Man A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that." "Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told

FUNNY ARTICAL

How Poor or Rich! One day, a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country so he could have his son see how poor country people were. They stayed one day and one night at the farm of a very humble farm family. When they got back home the father asked the son, "What did you think of the trip"? The son replied, "Very nice Dad." Dad said, "Did you notice how poor they were?" "Yes". "So, what did you learn from this trip?" "I've learned that we have one dog in the house, and they had four. We have a fountain and imported lamps in our garden, they have a stream with no end and the stars in the sky. Our garden goes to the edge of our property, they have the entire horizon as their back yard." At the end of the son's reply the father was speechless and then his son said, "Thank you Dad, for showing me how poor we really are.

FUNNY ARTICAL

Bedroom Football An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man cut a fart and says “seven points.” His wife rolls over and asks, “What in the world was that?” The old man says, “Touchdown, I’m ahead 7 to nothing.” A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie, score.” After about ten minutes later he old man farts again and says, Touchdown I’m ahead 14 to 7. Now starting to get into this the wife quickly farts again and says, “Touchdown, tie score.” The old man strains really hard but, to no avail he can’t fart, so not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and strains real hard to get out just one more fart. Straining real hard the old man tries so hard he poops in the bed. The wife asks, “Now what in the world was that?” The old man replies, “Half-time, switch sides.”

GOOD MORNING

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GOOD MORNING Just a note to say hello, Before I start my day; Couldn't help but drop a line, To my friends here and away. As I sip my hot coffee, Thoughts of you have crossed my mind; I'm sending morning greetings, And hope your day is fine. I have to go for now my friend, Have lots to do today; Just wanted to say good morning, And you Have a nice day!!!

YU MAMA Jokes

McDonalds Yo mamas just like Mcdonalds... 5 billion people served world wide Gas money Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car to get gas money! Getting Smarter A young boy had been taken for his first visit to a nudist camp by his parents. He was surprised at the different sizes of the male organs and mentioned it to his father. The father, being rather well endowed, explained that it was a measure of intelligence, the big ones being smart and the small ones being dumb. That afternoon the father was looking for his wife and asked his son if he had seen his mother. "I saw her about ten minutes ago, She was with a real dumb man, but he seemed to be getting smarter all the time."

YU MAMA Jokes

Yo Mama Fat Yo Mama so fat...her clothes come in three sizes. XL, Jungle, and AHH... ITS COMING! Yo mama so nasty Yo mama so nasty, I asked her what was for dinner, and she climbed on the table and spread her legs and said fish and crabs! Gas money Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car to get gas money! Yo Mama's so drunk Yo Mama's so drunk she would have died of starvation if it wasn't for the olives in her drinks. Your mom as like a brick... shes always getting laid! So stupid Your mama's so stupid she stole free cakes from the baker.