F U N N Y J O K E S

DECENT JOKES          KNOWING YOURSELF     Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone                    else and expect them to know you. ? STUPID PYJAMAS   Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you.... where are u stupid pyjamas.....! NAUGHTY SMS A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over,there’s nobody home.”  I went over.  Nobody was home I really deeply  wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed&lights is off &  we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch. LOVE SMS Love is a divine feeling Love is a divine  feeling Butwhen u  lost love u r lost love is  the strongest intangi blething A weapon that makes u...

noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” “What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’ The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”

A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator.On the third floor a man gets on who’s perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor. Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says, “Someone should give him Head & Shoulders.” To which the blonde replies, “How do you give Shoulders?”

A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, “Here’s to 51 days!” and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to “line ‘em up”, and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, “I don’t get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?” One of the blondes explains, “We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box ‘2-4 years,’ but we finished it in 51 days!”

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, “Stand in that circle and DON’T MOVE!”. He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, “Oh you think that’s funny? Watch this!” He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she’s laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down. “What’s so funny?” the truck driver asked the...