F U N N Y J O K E S

Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presented you would rather not have received: 1. Thanks a lot! 2. My word! What a gift. 3. Well, well, well … 4. If I hadn’t put on so much weight recently it would have fitted me perfectly. 5. Gosh, I hope I never lose this. We’re always losing things around here. 6. It’s great; but I’m worried about the jealousy it may create. 7. Just my luck to get this, on the Christmas I promised to give all my gifts to charity. 8. Unfortunately, I am about to enter MI5’s Witness Protection programme. 9. Frankly, I don’t deserve this. 10. Really, you shouldn’t have.

Christmas may be many thingsor it may be a few. For you, the joyis each new toy;for me; Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. O>O>O>O Jingle bells Jingle bells what fun it is to wish our friends a very merry christmas. O>O>O>O Bells are ringing the wishes of christmas day the flying snowflakes send my most sincere blessings to you merry christmas. O>O>O>O Faith makes all things possible,Hope makes all things work, Love makes all things beautiful,May you have all the three for this Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS! O>O>O>O Somehow, not only for Christmas, But all the long year through, The joy that you give to others, Is the joy that comes back to you. And the more you spend in blessing, The poor and lonely and sad, The more of your heart’s possessing, Returns to you glad. O>O>O>O Joy resounds in the hearts of those who believe in the miracle

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you canbegin paving hell with them as usual. The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. <*-----------------------*> For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice.And to make an end is to make a beginning. <*-----------------------*> We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. <*-----------------------*> Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever. <*-----------------------*> People are so worried