F U N N Y J O K E S

DECENT JOKES KNOWING YOURSELF Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you. ? STUPID PYJAMAS Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you.... where are u stupid pyjamas.....! NAUGHTY SMS A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over,there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was homeI really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed&lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch. LOVE SMS Love is a divine feeling Love is a divine feeling Butwhen u lost love u r lost love is the strongest intangiblething A weapon that makes u strongandcan hurt more than a bullet... BOLLYWOOD JOKES Munna Bhai & Circuit Jokes * Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay gharja raha tha kayachanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai... MISS YOU SMS My eyes R...

KNOWING YOURSELF Make yourself a better person and know who you  are before you try and know someone  else and expect them to know you. ? WHO YOU TRUST There's always going to be people that hurt you so what  you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more  careful about who you trust next time around.   GRATEFUL Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before  meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet  the person, we will know how to be grateful.   WASTING YOUR TIME Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't  willing to waste their time on you. ?YOUR SMILE  Never frown, even when you are sad, because  you never know who is falling in love with your smile.  YOU CAN'T... The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting  right beside them knowing you can't have them.  BEAUTIFUL MOON I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful...  I look at you.. I.. I... I'd rather look at the...

DUMB What is the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis. It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole! SAGGY BOOB What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts! BLOW JOB What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job! COVER ME What did the Dick say to the Condom? 'Cover me!!! I'm going in...' ? TITS DAIRY I'd willingly fertilize Mary, And watch for 9 months her shape vary, From the very first day, To the child-birth display, When her tits would turn into a dairy. Suspense how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!! Statistics At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this SMS. Farmer Joneshas farmer Joneshas got no sheep,isn't life a drag? coz th...

CARS Man1: my wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank pls.' DEPRESSED A girl asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every morning they rub yours 4 30 minutes and don't f**k u, u will feel the same? BAR STOOL How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down. VIAGRA CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you WE CAN MULTIPLY Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply! SNOW WHITE *NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported 2 hav pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and shouted, 'LIE BASTARD LIE' GLOW IN THE DARK I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights i...

GOOD MANNERS Three good manners of male penis. 1)Courteous-it stands before performing. 2)Emotional-it cries during the performance. 3)Polite-it bows down after the performance. MISTAKES Learn from your parents' mistakes - Use birth control! PICTURE Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged. MAN Today, in style are small cars, watches, skirts and mobile-phones... It will come the time when SMALL PENIS will be in style, and then you will be the man!!! COCUNUT What’s hairy on the outside and moist inside, begins with a 'C' ends with a 'T' and has U' and 'N' in the middle? Answer: 'COCUNUT' SHOWTIME Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME! LEFT LEG, RIGHT LEG What did the blonde's left leg say to h...

My eyes R hurting coz I can't C U,  My arms R empty coz I can't hold U,  My lips R cold coz I can't kiss U but,  My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U! I heard someone whisper ur name,  but when i turned around to c who it was,  i notice i was alone,  then i realize it was my heart telling me  that i miss u. 4getn u is hard 2 do, 4gtn me is up2 u,  4gt me not, 4gt me neva,  but don’t 4get,  we’re gr8 2gether among ur frens i care 4 u da most,  among ur frens i lov u da most,  among ur frens u hurt me d most coz.... i know dats all im 2 u... among ur frens Luv will fly if held too lightly. Love will die if held too tightly. How should I hold u. How do I know if  I'm still keeping you or I'm letting go... Luv can be bad,it can treat u lik dirt. Theres always a risk of u getting hurt. Luv is restless & luv is a flirt. Luv has places to go and people to hurt. It only takes a minute to get a crush on someone,  an hour to like someone & a day to love someone...

BOLLYWOOD JOKES Munna Bhai & Circuit Jokes * Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar ja raha tha kayachanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai... LOVE SMS Love is a divine feeling Love is a divine feeling But when u lost love u r lost love is the strongest intangible thing A weapon that makes u strongand can hurt more than a bullet... NAUGHTY SMS A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over,there’s nobody home. ” I went over. Nobody was home I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed&lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch. BIRTHDAY TEXT • A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. Easter Text SMS Easter is a promise God renews to us in each spring. May the promise of Easter fill your heart with peace and joy! Happy Easter! Politicial Jokes Democrat's Concession The election is over the results ...

Easter is a promise God renews to us in each spring. May the promise of Easter fill your heart with peace and joy! Happy Easter!    The spirit of easter is all about Hope, Love and Joyfull living. Happy Easter!    Let this joy of Easter may fill up your heart today and the whole year ahead. Happy Easter!    The Lord came to earth with a life to give, so each one of us may continue to live. Happy Easter!    Let every man and woman count himself immortal. Let him catch the revelation of Jesus in his resurrection. Let him say not merely, "Christ is risen," but "I shall rise." - Phillips Brooks    The cross of Christ shows us that God's love is of deepest descent...universal distribution and of eternal duration. - Dr. Fred Barlow    Jesus cannot forget us; we have been graven on the palms of his hands. - Lois Picillo    Christianity begins where religion ends...with the resurrection - Herbert Booth Smith    The stone was rolled away from the door, not to permit Chri...