Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes: Al Capone
You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
--Al Capone


Funny Quotes: Billy Crystal
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
--Billy Crystal


Funny Quotes: George Burns
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.
--George Burns


Funny Quotes: George W Bush
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
--George W Bush


Funny Quotes: Jack Nicholson
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
--Jack Nicholson


Funny Quotes: George W Bush
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
--George W Bush


Funny Quotes: Winston Churchill
When I am abroad I always make it a rule never to criticise or attack the Government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home.
--Winston Churchill


Funny Quotes: Ronald Regan
I have orders to be awakened at any time in the case of a national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.


--Ronald ReganFunny Quotes: Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love.
--Woody Allen


Funny Quotes: Billy Crystal
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
--Billy Crystal

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