F U N N Y J O K E S

One Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the Sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested the Sardarji to leave the side seat. But the Sardaji told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”. The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Sardarji to leave that seat but Sardarji did not leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Sardarji and the Sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Sardarji? Captain told, “nothing… Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chan...

Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. If it’s really a “rush job,” run in and interrupt me every ten minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors is good training. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. Let me guess. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. Be nice to me only when the job ...

noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” “What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’ The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”

A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator.On the third floor a man gets on who’s perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor. Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says, “Someone should give him Head & Shoulders.” To which the blonde replies, “How do you give Shoulders?”

A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, “Here’s to 51 days!” and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to “line ‘em up”, and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, “I don’t get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?” One of the blondes explains, “We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box ‘2-4 years,’ but we finished it in 51 days!”