F U N N Y J O K E S

Title Funny PG

2012-01-09T09:24:00.000-08:00

Make yourself a better person and know who you
are before you try and know someone....

N A U G H T Y S M S

A girl phoned me the other day and

said…”Come on over,there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody.......

Love is a divine feeling Love is a divine feeling Butwhen u
lost love u r lost love is the strongest intangiblething.....

BOLLYWOOD JOKES
Munna Bhai & Circuit Jokes
Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay gharja

raha tha kayachanak bijli.....

MISS YOU SMS

My eyes R hurting coz I can't C U,
My arms R empty coz I can't hold U,
My lips R cold coz I can't kiss U ......

EROTIC JOKES What is the dumbest part on a man's body?
The penis. It has a head with no brain,
it hangs out with two nuts and...

BIRTHDAY TEXT

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day
Journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

POLITICAL JOKES
Democrat's Concession
The election is over the results are well known.

The voice of the people has clearly been shown
Lets all pull together and show by our deeds.....

KNOCK KNOCK JOKES
Knock, knock! who's there?BooBoo who?

Don't cry, it's only a joke!Knock, knock! who's there?

EarlEarl who?Earl be glad to tell ........

FUNNY STORIES A robot boy is created when a brilliant

inventor accidentally exposes his expectant

wife to a secret transforming ray during.....

LATEST COLLECTION OF NEW YEAR SMS

2011-12-29T09:11:00.000-08:00

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make

your regular annual good resolutions. Next
week you canbegin paving hell with them as usual.
The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.
<*-----------------------*>

For last year's words belong to last year's language

And next year's words await another voice.And to make an end is
to make a beginning.
<*-----------------------*>

We will open the book. Its pages are blank.

We are going to put words on them ourselves.

The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.

<*-----------------------*>

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar,

took his last drink and swore his last oath.

Today, we are a pious and exemplary community.

Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds

and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings

considerably shorter than ever.

<*-----------------------*>

People are so worried about what they eat between the New Year,

but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year
And ye, who have met with Adversity's blast,

And been bow'd to the earth by its fury;

To whom the Twelve Months, that have recently

pass'dWere as harsh as a prejudiced jury -Still,
fill to the Future! and join in our chime,

The regrets of remembrance to cozen,

And having obtained a New Trial of Time,

Shout in hopes of a kindlier dozen.
<*-----------------------*>

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go,

for it was imperfect, and thank
God that it can go.
<*-----------------------*>

Each age has deemed the new-born year
The fittest time for festal cheer.
<*-----------------------*>

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on
a bank where they have no account.
<*-----------------------*>

Glory to God in highest heaven, Who unto man His Son hath given;
While angels sing with tender mirth,
A glad new year to all the earth.
<*-----------------------*>

A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old,

and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains,

it ceases to be serviceable;

any little strain will snap it.
<*-----------------------*>

But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty?

I live according to twenty-year-old habits.
<*-----------------------*>

I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on

New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve,

smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be
expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of
midnight withso much nicotine in the system.

Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea

as you can't eat rationally but really

need to be free to consume whatever is necessary,

moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover.

I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions

began generally on January the second.
<*-----------------------*>

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot.

Unless, of course,

those tests come back positive.
<*-----------------------*>

We meet todayTo thank Thee for the era done,
And Thee for the opening one.
<*-----------------------*>

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep,
is this: To rise above the little things.
<*-----------------------*>

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is
the peal which rings out the Old Year.
<*-----------------------*>

A happy New Year! Grant that IMay bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall endLet it be said
I've played the friend, Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year.
<*-----------------------*>

It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't
have regrets.
<*-----------------------*>

We spend January 1 walking through our lives,

room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done,

cracks to be patched. Maybe this year,

to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives...

not looking for flaws, but for potential.
EnglishMay all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
<*-----------------------*>

Time has no divisions to mark its passage,

there is never a thunder-storm or blare of

trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year.

Even when a new century begins it is only we mortals
who ring bells and fire off pistols.
<*-----------------------*>

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans,
of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life,
is too much of a daily event for me.
<*-----------------------*>

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular
use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks,
and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
<*-----------------------*>

Every man regards his own life as the New Year's Eve of time.

<*-----------------------*>

Christmas Presents

2011-12-01T09:47:00.001-08:00

Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presented you would rather not have received:

1. Thanks a lot!

2. My word! What a gift.

3. Well, well, well …

4. If I hadn’t put on so much weight recently it would have fitted me perfectly.

5. Gosh, I hope I never lose this. We’re always losing things around here.

6. It’s great; but I’m worried about the jealousy it may create.

7. Just my luck to get this, on the Christmas I promised to give all my gifts to charity.

8. Unfortunately, I am about to enter MI5’s Witness Protection programme.

9. Frankly, I don’t deserve this.

10. Really, you shouldn’t have.

THE LONELY FROG

2010-09-18T06:53:00.000-07:00

A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.

His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog is thrilled and says, “This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?”

“No” says the psychic, “in a Biology class.”

Identical Looking Parrot

2010-09-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, “the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars”. “Why does the parrot cost so much,” asks the man. The shop owner says, “well, the parrot knows how to use a computer”.

The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, “What can it do?” To which the shop owner replies, “to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss!”

Baby Elephant and a Baby Turtle

2010-09-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river
deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites
the elephant’s tail, really hard.

Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same
river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that
bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.

The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can,
sending him flying way off into the jungle. “Why did you do that?” the
giraffe asks. “When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no
reason,” the elephant replied. “Wow! You must have a good memory!”
exclaimed the giraffe.

“Yep!” said the elephant. “I’ve got Turtle-Recall.”

SADAR JEE On Plane

2010-09-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

One Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.
He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.
But as soon as the Sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.

After some time the old lady came and requested the Sardarji to leave the side seat.
But the Sardaji told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.
The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Sardarji to leave that seat but Sardarji did not leave.

Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.
Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Sardarji and the Sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.
Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Sardarji?

Captain told, “nothing… Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar.”

Promises to Wife

2010-09-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: ” You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second guy: ” that’s nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.” Third guy: ” Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.” They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. ” What’s the deal?” Fourth guy: ” I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, ” Fishing or Sex” and she said, ” Wear a Sweater.”

Reward for A Job

2010-09-14T14:56:00.000-07:00

The reward for a job well done is more work.
Smart man + smart woman = romance.
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy.
Dumb man + smart woman = affair.
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage.
Smart boss + smart employee = profit.
Smart boss + dumb employee = production.
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion.
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime.

I lazy & Boss Busy

2010-09-14T14:52:00.000-07:00

When I take a long time, I am slow.When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
When I don’t do it, I am lazy.When my boss doesn’t do it, he is too busy.
When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.When my boss does the same, that is initiative.
When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing.When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.
When I do good, my boss never remembers.When I do wrong, he never forgets.
When I make a mistake, I am an idiot.When my boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.
When I am out of the office, I am wandering around.When my boss is out of the office, he’s on business.

Tips for Managers and Bosses

2010-09-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
If it’s really a “rush job,” run in and interrupt me every ten minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps.
Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors is good training.
If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.
Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.
If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret.
If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.
If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.
Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life.

Blonde Intelligence

2010-09-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”
“Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.”
“What sort of question?”
“Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’
The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”

Blonde Shampoo

2010-09-14T14:42:00.000-07:00

A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator.On the third floor a man gets on who’s perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor.
Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says, “Someone should give him Head & Shoulders.”
To which the blonde replies, “How do you give Shoulders?”

Blonde Puzzle

2010-09-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them.
The gals lift their glasses and toast, “Here’s to 51 days!” and they proceed to down their drinks.
Once again, they tell the bartender to “line ‘em up”, and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks.
The bartender says, “I don’t get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?”
One of the blondes explains, “We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box ‘2-4 years,’ but we finished it in 51 days!”

Everything is Funny

2010-09-14T14:28:00.000-07:00

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over.
When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, “Stand in that circle and DON’T MOVE!”.
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, “Oh you think that’s funny? Watch this!” He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she’s laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
“What’s so funny?” the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, “Every time you weren’t looking, I stepped outside the circle!”

A Man at Hamburger Shop

2010-09-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there’s a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, “Waitress, there’s a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!”
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, “That’s disgusting!”
Then the waitress says, “You think that’s disgusting you should see him make donuts.”

April Fools!

2010-09-13T09:46:00.000-07:00

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says “Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!”. Billy says, “Ok mommy.” and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams “MOMMY! I’m still blind, my wish didn’t come true!”, the mom answered, “I know – April Fools!”

Moods of a Woman

2010-09-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,A woman is a bundle of contradiction,She’s afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,She’ll win you in range, enchant you in silk,She’ll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk;At times she’ll be vengeful, merry and sad,She’ll hate you like poison, and love you like mad
Moods of a Man
Horny.

Birthday Present!

2010-09-13T09:43:00.000-07:00

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,’I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.’Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and thistime he doesn’t get her anything.She says, ‘Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?’He replies, ‘You didn’t use what I got you last year!’

Sam’s Girl Friend’s Birthday

2010-09-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

Sam’s girlfriend’s birthday was the same day as his father’s. He bought his girlfriend a bottle of perfume and his father a pistol. He wrapped the perfume and wrote a note to his girlfriend, saying, ‘Use this all over yourself and think of me.’ Unfortunately he put the note on his father’s present.

Birthday Surprise

2010-09-13T09:41:00.000-07:00

I’ve been shopping for my wife’s birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn’t you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!

Wife’s Birthday Present

2010-09-13T09:37:00.000-07:00

Blind in one eye

2010-09-13T09:34:00.001-07:00

I got one cousin, he’s blind in one eye ’cause he tried to kill himself with a slingshot. I don’t even know how you go about that, you know? He shot the thing off; it completely missed his head. His dad came in, saw what he was doing, thought he was so stupid — poked his eye out.

A Blind Bunny & A Blind Snake

2010-09-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

A blind bunny and a blind snake bump into each other on the path.
“What kind of animal are you?” asks the snake.
“I really don’t know,” says the bunny. “I’ve never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out?”
So, the snake felt the bunny. “Well, you’re soft and cuddly,” said the snake. “You have long silky ears and a little fluffy tail. You must be a bunny!”
“Awesome!” says the bunny. “Now what kind of animal are you?”
“I really don’t know,” says the snake. “I’ve never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out?”
So, the bunny feels the snake all over, and he replies, “You’re hard and cold, and you haven’t got any balls. You must be a lawyer!”

Just Fishing -Cheer Up

2010-09-13T09:16:00.000-07:00

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses.
“Tsk Tsk!” said the passerby to himself. “What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I’ll see if I can help.” So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, “What are you doing, my friend?”
“Fishin’, sir.”
“Fishin’, eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?”
The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of vodka and a fine cigar.
His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, “Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch today?”
The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, “You are the sixth today, sir!”

Sitting High Up – Cheer Up

2010-09-13T08:39:00.001-07:00

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up!

Boss And Employees

2010-09-13T08:37:00.000-07:00

Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday. Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner. Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, “A bottle of wine?”His employees replied, “No.”Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid. “A bottle of scotch?”“His employees replied again, “No.”Finally the boss asked, “I give up. What is it?”His workers responded, “A puppy.”

The last day working

2010-09-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

”You Know It’s Your Last Day At Work When……”
You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?”, you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox.
A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn”. Your boss is standing behind you. It’s his wife.
While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.
You return from a week’s vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.
You take a “sick” day. The next morning the boss asks you, “So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?”.
You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You’re in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOSS

2010-09-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

When you take a long time, you’re slow.When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough.
When you don’t do it, you’re lazy.When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.
When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.
When doing something without being told, you’re overstepping your authority.When your boss does the same thing, that’s initiative.
When you take a stand, you’re being pig-headed.When your boss does it, he’s being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you’re being rude.When your boss skips a few rules, he’s being original.
When you please your boss, you’re arse-creeping.When your boss pleases his boss, he’s being co-operative.
When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.When your boss is out of the office, he’s on business.
When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick.When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.When your boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked.

A Russian, A Frenchman, and a Canadian in a Bar

2010-09-13T08:20:00.001-07:00

A Russian, A Frenchman, and a Canadian in a Bar A Russian, a Frenchman, and a Canadian walk into a bar. The Russian asks the bartender for vodka, so he gives him an entire bottle. The Russian pours out a shot, drinks it, and throws the rest of the bottle into the air and shoots it. The bartender asks, “What did you do that for?” and the Russian replies, “In my country, we have too much vodka.”The bartender shakes his head and turns to the Frenchman, who orders wine. The Frenchman pours a glass, drinks it, then throws the rest of the bottle in the air and shoots it to smithereens. “In my country,” he says, “we have too much wine.”The bartender shakes his head again, and turns hesitantly to the Canadian to ask him what he would like.The Canadian orders a beer, drinks the whole bottle in one go, then pulls out his gun and shoots the Frenchman. “In my country,” he says, “we have too many Frenchmen.”

Mobile Office

2010-09-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink and sits down.
A couple of minutes later, the bartender sees the guy talking to his hand.
Not wanting any of his other customers to beat this guy up, the bartender walks over and tells the guy to stop talking to his hand.
“But I got a cell phone implanted in my hand, bartender!” Sure enough, the guy has a phone implanted in his hand.
“Well, put it away before you get beaten up,” says the bartender.
This guy finishes his drink and goes to the washroom. When he doesn’t come out, the bartender gets worried and goes looking for this guy.
He finds him in the washroom with a toilet paper roll shoved up his ass.
“I told you,” says the bartender.
“Oh, I’m fine,” says the guy, “just waiting for a fax!”

A Guy Walks Into A Bar

2010-09-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I spat in this beer, do not drink!”. After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!”

True Love

2010-09-13T07:56:00.000-07:00

If you love something, set it free.If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.If it just sits in your living room,messes up your stuff,eats your food,uses your telephone,takes your money,and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place,you either married it or gave birth to it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Somebody Who’s Deeply In Love With You
Tells You That Your Cute, Beautiful, Angelic,I Agree That’s True, Believe Me,
I Swear Cuz Love Is Blind…

Before And After You Fall In Love …

2010-09-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

BEFORE – You take my breath away
AFTER – I feel like I’m suffocating

BEFORE – Saturday Night Fever
AFTER – Monday Night Football

BEFORE – Don’t stop
AFTER – Don’t start

BEFORE – It’s like I’m living in a dream
AFTER – It’s like he lives in a dorm

BEFORE – Turbocharged
AFTER – Jumpstart

BEFORE – We agree on everything
AFTER – Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

BEFORE – Idol
AFTER – Idle

BEFORE – He’s completely lost without me
AFTER – Why won’t he ever ask for directions?

BEFORE – Passion
AFTER – Ration

BEFORE – Once upon a time
AFTER – The end

The Best Love Letter

2010-09-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda),You are my TVS SCOOTY(first love) and my AIWA (pure passion).
I always BPL (believe in the best) and you are SANSUI (better than the best). You are DOMINO’SPIZZA (delivering a million smiles) for me.
This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (seriously fresh)feeling for me. I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your mother who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (the unshakable) and my mother who is CEAT (born tough) , but don’t worry as I am also FORD ICON (The josh machine) and rest of our family members are pretty KELVINATORS (the coolest ones). If our mother say no, we will run away and marry, and PHILIPS (let’s make things better).
They will feel MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe inCOCA-COLA (jo chahe ho jaye) . Trust in God who’s always NOKIA(connecting people) who love each other. And do not forget that we are WILLS (made for each other).
Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE ?(fun fast easy) and PARX (always comfortable). So never forget me.Ok bye!
I wrote little but actually PEPSI (yeh dil mange more)!!.
YoursLG (Digitally yours).

THE NUTTY PROFESSOR

2010-09-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.
The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said: “Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” cried the professor. “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

Funny College Kids Joke

2010-09-13T07:44:00.000-07:00

The Generosity Of College Kids
A couple college kids, Stan and Ryan, are riding to school on a Chicago subway train when a homeless man approaches and begs for spare change. Stan adamantly rejects the man in disgust while Ryan, on the other hand, pulls out his wallet and gives the man two dollars and wishes him the best.
The homeless man thanks Ryan kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Stan is outraged by his friend’s act of generosity. “What the heck did you do that?” shouts Stan. “You know he’s probably only gonna use it for drugs or booze!”
Ryan replies, “And we weren’t?”

A College Professor’s Wife

2010-09-13T07:42:00.001-07:00

A college professor’s going to bed with his wife.
He’s not that tired, so he’s gonna stay awake and read while she goes to sleep.
So he’s reading, and every once in a while he reaches over and tickles her on the fun spot.
“Kitza kitza,” she says. “Will you stop that! Will you stop reaching over here and teasing me like that?”
He says, “I’m not teasing you. I’m wetting my fingers so I can turn the page.”

2010-09-13T07:42:00.000-07:00

ZOOLOGY TEST

2010-09-13T07:36:00.002-07:00

A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds’ legs and give the common name, habitat, genus and species.The student looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the madder he got.Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor’s desk and said, “What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?” With that the student threw his test on the professor’s desk and walked to the door.The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn’t know every student’s name so as the student reached the door the professor called, “Mister, what’s your name?”The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, “You tell me buddy! You tell me!”

Dog Property Rules

2010-09-13T07:36:00.001-07:00

1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If I’m chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down,
it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it’s yours.

A Little Turtle

2010-09-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.“Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”

Monkey Organization

2010-09-13T07:25:00.000-07:00

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.
Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.
The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.
The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

Camel Questions

2010-09-13T07:23:00.001-07:00

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?”

The mother replies, “Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand”.

“OK” said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, “Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?”

“They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert”, “Thanks Mom” replies the son.

After a short while, the son returns and asks, “Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??”

The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, “They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods.”

“That’s great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water.

But Mom”, “Yes son?”

“Why the heck are we in the San Diego Zoo?”

Elephant WOMB

2010-09-13T07:18:00.000-07:00

Four farmers were seated at the bar in a tavern। At the table next to them sat a young girl.

The first man said, “I think it’s WOOMB.” The second replied, “No, it must be WOOOOMBH.” The third said, “You both have it wrong — it’s WOOM.” The fourth stated, “No, it has to be WOOMMMMBBB.”
At this, the young lady could stand it no longer. She got up, walked over to the farmers and said, “Look, you hayseeds, it’s WOMB. That’s it, that’s all there is to it.” Then she left.
Eventually, one of the farmers broke the silence by saying, “Well, I don’t know. A slip of a girl like that, I don’t see how she could know. I’ll bet she’s never even heard an elephant fart!”

Mr Bean with Dentist

2010-09-12T17:35:00.000-07:00

Mrs Bean on Beach

2010-09-12T17:23:00.000-07:00

Mr.Bean in Toilet

2010-09-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

Mr. Bean in the Museum

2010-09-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

Mr. Bean in the Museum

EID SMS

2009-09-15T12:30:00.001-07:00

Wishing U a Very Very

Wishing U a Very Very "HAPPY EID MUBARIK"Wid Luv And Best Wishes.. May That Eid Day Brings LOT of HAppiness And JOYS in ur LIFE. May u Live Long LIFE... And That EID day Will comes in UR life Hundrad Times...Remember me in ur prayers..

EID SMS

2009-09-15T12:29:00.000-07:00

Meri taraf se Eid Mubarak

Sufi soap
Lado soap
Robin neel
Kashmir banaspati
Habib cooking oil
Dalda banaspati
Metro milan
agar batti7up,
pepsi,
team,
sprite,
Dew,
National chat masla,
Surf excel,
Arial,
Tapal,
Lipton teaWalls ice cream
AUR MERI TARAF SE BOHUT BOHUTEID MUBARAK

EID SMS

2009-09-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

Kiya jo faisla Eid Mubarak kehne ka

Socha kisi apne se baat karun,
Apne kisi khaas ko yaad karun,
Kiya jo faisla eid mubarak kehne ka,
Dil ne kaha kyun na aapseshuruwat karun.

*EID MUBARAK*

EID SMS

2009-09-15T12:27:00.000-07:00

Bohut bohat EID MUBARAK

Khushyon k is pur masarrat moqayper bohut bohat
EID MUBARAK
dil ki gehraiyun say nikli hoi is dua k sath k…
Khuda aap ki aur aap k sab chanay walon ki zindagi
ko khushion Rehmaton aur kamiyabi say bhar day,
her gham,dukh aur dard ko aap sab say door….
bohut door ker day…Ameen

EID SMS

2009-09-15T12:24:00.000-07:00

Eid and lots of fun

Its time for Eid and lots of fun
When the sun has set,
and day is done-I”ll break this chain,but only one.
By the end of Ramadan,
this whole chain will be all gone!
It”s time for Eid and lots of fun!!!

EID SMS

2009-09-15T12:23:00.000-07:00

Miss you alot on EID

Lonesome without u,

Each n every moments.

When i am alone

I close my eyes n think of u

N thoughts of ur love warms

Me inside n makes me smile.

miss you a lot.

Eid Mubarak.

EID MUBARAK

2009-09-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

Open all the Doors of success

May the blessings of Allahfill your life

with happinessand open all the doors

of successnow and always.

Eid Mubarak

EID SMS

2009-09-15T12:20:00.002-07:00

EID Ka Chand Dekhna Hai Tu

EID Ka Chand Dekhna Hai Tu Neachay Dekho…
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Dear Maine Bohat Kosish Ki hai
Mobile Main Aanay ki…
Sorry..Ap chand nahi dekh Sakte
Any Wayz
EiD MubArAk

EID SMS

2009-09-15T12:20:00.001-07:00

Have a Happy Eid Mubarak.

Hope Love and Laugher,warmth,
wishes, joy anda bouquet of Eid wishes,
jubilations,become a part of your Eid and Your Life.
Have a Happy
Eid Mubarak.

2009-09-15T12:18:00.000-07:00

Eid Mubarak Karo sabko jo aaye Samne

Subeh Subeh uth ke ho jawo Fresh,
Pehenlo aj sobse aacha sa koi Dress,
Doston ka sath aab chalo Ghumne,
Eid Mubarak Karo sabko jo aaye Samne.
Tumko bhi
EID MUBARAK

2009-09-13T05:41:00.000-07:00

After The Holy Month Of Ramadan, Here Comes Eid ul Fitr Festival.
Before the event occurs muslims used to send Eid cards & greetings to each others.
Now the trend is slightly changed ;).
In Addition to Eid Mubarak greeting cards or simply EID Cards, the EID SMS, Eid Mubarak SMS and eid greetings sms is also becoming popular.
You will find urdu eid sms, eid mubarak sms, eid greetings sms, eid mubarak shayri sms, and loads of eid sms messages in our compiled list of latest EID Mubarak SMS Collection.
So, what are you waiting for? Pick your sms for eid and shoot it to your friends.

Eisi umeed

ka sath Yaar tumhe Mubarak ho Eid

Sada haste raho jaise haste hain phool,Duniya ki sare gham tumeh

jaye bhool,
Charo taraf phailao khushion ka geet,Eisi umeed ka sath Yaar

tumhe�(----------------MUBARIK ho EID.--------------------)

Wishing you happy EID

Wishing u happy Eid,soft as silk,white as milk,
sweet as honey,full of moneyandbubli as u

May the auspicious occasion of eid

May the auspicious occasion of Eid ,bless you with peaceandbring joy to your heart and home.
!!!!!!!!!EID

Mubarak!!!!!!!!!!!

Eid K din aj aao mil k karain yeh hi wada

Aaj Khuda ki hum par ho Meharbani,
Karde maf hum logo ki sari Nafarmani,
Eid K din aj aao mil k karain yeh hi wada,
Khuda ki hi rahon main hum chalain gay sada.

Sare Musalmanon ko EID MUBARAK.

All that is in the heavens

All that is in the heavens
and the earth
glorifieth Allah; and
He is the Mighty,
the Wise.
The Holy Quran [ 57:1]

<<<<<<<<<<<Eid Mubarak to You.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wish you a very very happy EID mubarak

May
all
the
joys
of
life
be
showered
on
you .!

Wish you a very very

Happy eid mubarak to you and your family

OFFICE FUN

2009-05-23T09:17:00.000-07:00

Relationship Between Employer & Emploment

KNOCK KNOCK JOKES

2009-05-20T00:53:00.000-07:00

Knock Knock Jokes Paradise

Knock, knock! who's there?BooBoo who?Don't cry, it's only a joke!Knock, knock! who's there?EarlEarl who?Earl be glad to tell you when you open the door.Knock, knock! who's there?EmmaEmma who?Emma bit

Knock Knock(yours are pretty sad!)

Knock Knockwhose there?GladiatorGladiator who?Gladiator before the gang bang!for those of you who are very slow!!!Clue- glad he ate her

Go away

Knock knock? Go away!Knock knock?I said go away!Knock knock?Get the hell off of my damn porch before I shoot you!

Nerd Jokes

Nerd SeasonA truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER A

SMS JOKES

2009-05-20T00:48:00.000-07:00

Friendship SMS Jokes

Friendship SMS Jokes My Friendship is like an onion, Which has many layers in it,it will add taste to your life, but if you try to cut it, you will have tears in your eyes.

General SMS Jokes

General SMS JokesSon: Dad, how much is 5+5?Dad: You dumb, You don't know this, go and get a calculator.

The Shoe

The Shoe One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife. Later that nigh

SMS JOKES

2009-05-20T00:46:00.000-07:00

Some One Mix

hve very few words 2 describe u..dis only 10% description bout her You are every Writer's Dream. You are every Poet's Melody. You are every Hero's Love. You are every Musician's Soul. You are every Ar

Funny SMS Jokes for you!

1) SOMETIMES WE PUT WALLS AROUND OUR HEART, NOT JUST TO B SAFE FROM GETTING HURT, BUT TO FIND OUT WHO CARES ENOUGH TO BREAK THEM DOWN..!!GN 2) A warm HELLO doesn’t come from d lips, it comes from d hea

Love SMS

So many questions, but the answers are so few, all i really know, is, I MISS YOU ! Roses of red grow in my heart and they will never wither... 'Cause they bloom every time I see your smile, hear your

SMS JOKES

2009-05-20T00:44:00.000-07:00

Excuse TO smoke

Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit.

Some More SMS Jokes

Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!" The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, whenever u insert the sim card of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling. ...

Great SMS Jokes

Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just like you and me.. you are getting older and i am getting sweeter. I want u... To be with me In a nice Restaurent To have candle lig

SMS JOKES

2009-05-20T00:43:00.000-07:00

Friendly SMS

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.If you need advice, text me... if you need a friend, call me ... if you need me, come to me... if you need money... SENDER CANNOT BE REACHED! Friends a

SMS Flirting

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven! Be unique and different, just say yes. Bai carumba... are those real? Can I flirt with you? Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living? Do you know

Indian desi SMS Jokes

Gabber Singh ka janam hua to usko maa ne jor se thappad mara.
Poocho kyo?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Maa se poochta tha: Kitne aadmi the?

SMS JOKES

2009-05-20T00:41:00.000-07:00

Good Morning SMS

May you begin this day with a smile on your face, and with happiness for your soul to embrace. Good Morning my loveI try to Beeee the best friend i can beeeee, so here u go, some Goodmorning flowers r

Christmas SMS
wish you and your family a happy Easter and make your all days full of success and happiness ()"""() ,* ( 'o' ) ,*** =(,,)=("')<-*** (""),,,("") "

Love SMS
i love the 'y'i love the 'o'i love the 'u'put them together and i love 'you'(\_/)(=.=)(")(")a sweet little rabbit, just like you, because I love you!! kisses...In the morning I do not eat bec

SMS JOKES

2009-05-20T00:37:00.000-07:00

Flirt SMS

U R 100% beautiful,U R 100% lovely,U R 100% sweet,U R 100% nice, andU R 100% stupid to believe these words...Open with Love...If I disturb UI am Sorry!But I needTo SayI...Love...Disturbing you...i loo

Blessings

Ang dami plang blessngs kpag tumatanda! May SILVER sa buhok GOLD sa ipin STONES sa kidney SUGAR sa dugo OIL sa mukha GAS sa tiyan! At plake sa PUSO…!

Best Wishes SMS

May the angels protect U..May sadness 4get U..May goodness surround U..May happiness be round U..and may God always bless U..!!When time comes for u to give ur heart to someone, make sure u select som

FUNNY STORIES

2009-05-15T00:48:00.000-07:00

Boy Robo

The StoryA robot boy is created when a brilliant inventor accidentally exposes his expectant wife to a secret transforming ray during a labratory experiment. The half boy, half robot child is born to shocked, but very proud parents. With the aid of his father, BoyRobo becomes the defender of Delta City. A Hero is born!!

FUNNY ARTICAL

2009-05-15T00:42:00.000-07:00

12 Days Of Help desk

Original:
"12 Days of Christmas"

On the first day of Christmas, a
user gave to me
A problem with E.T.

On the second day of Christmas,
a user gave to me
Two VendaCards and a problem with E.T.

On the third day of Christmas, a
user gave to me
Three dead disks,
Two venda cards, and a
problem with E.T.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
a user gave to me
Four virused files, three dead disks,
Two
VendaCards, and a problem with E.T.

On the fifth day of Christmas, a
user gave to me
Five Token Rings (*snap!*)
Four virused files,
three dead disks,
Two VendaCards, and a problem with E.T.

On the sixth day of Christmas, a
user gave to me
Six servers crashing,
Five Token Rings
(*snap!*)
Four viruses files, three dead disks,
Two Venda
Cards, and a problem with E.T.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
a user gave to me
Seven files missing, six servers crashing,
Five
Token Rings (*snap!*)
Four viruses files, three dead disks,
Two
Venda Cards, and a problem with E.T.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
a user gave to me
Eight phones a-ringing,
Seven files missing,
six servers crashing,
Five Token Rings (*snap!*)
Four viruses
files, three dead disks,
Two VendaCards, and a problem with E.T.

On the ninth day of Chrsitmas, a
user gave to me
Nine printers jamming, eight phones
a-ringing,
Seven files missing, six servers crashing,
Five
Token Rings (*snap!*)
Four viruses files, three dead disks,
Two
VendaCards, and a problem with E.T.

On the tenth day of Christmas, a
user gave to me
Ten ribbons fading,
Nine printers jamming,
eight phones a-ringing,
Seven files missing, six servers
crashing,
Five Token Rings (*snap!*)
Four viruses files, three
dead disks,
Two Venda Cards, and a problem with E.T.

On the eleventh day of
Christmas, a user gave to me
Eleven system errors, ten ribbons
fading,
Nine printers jamming, eight phones a-ringing,
Seven
files missing, six servers crashing,
Five Token Rings
(*snap!*)
Four viruses files, three dead disks,
Two Venda
Cards, and a problem with E.T.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
a user gave to me
Twelve e-mail problems,
Eleven system errors,
ten ribbons fading,
Nine printers jamming, eight phones
a-ringing,
Seven files missing, six servers crashing,
Five
Token Rings (*snap!*)
Four viruses files, three dead disks,
Two
Venda Cards, and a problem with E.T.

FUNNY ARTICAL

2009-05-15T00:39:00.000-07:00

Brother & Sister Jokes

So
you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?Yes- their
dog is our dog''s brother.

A scoutmaster asked one of his
troop what good deed he had done for the day. ''Well,'' said the
Scout. ''Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby
brother have it.''

First Boy: Why is your brother
always flying off the handle ?Second Boy: Because he''s got a screw
loose !

Peter: My brother wants to work
badly!Anita: As I remember, he usually does !

Dan: My little brother is a real
pain.Nan: Things could be worse.Dan: How?Nan: He could be twins !

FUNNY ARTICAL

2009-05-15T00:36:00.000-07:00

Mexican driving a BMW

What
do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?

Grand Theft Auto.

Why doesn’t Mexico have an
Olympic team?

Any Mexican that can run jump or
swim is in the US!

Why wasn’t Jesus born in
Mexico?

He couldn’t find 3 wise
men or a virgin. (burn)

Why do Mexicans drive low
riders?

They are too short to get into
any other type of car.

What is the greatest Mexican
invention?

A solar powered flash light.

Why do Mexicans re-fry their
beans?

Have you seen a Mexican do
anything right the first time?

What do you do when a Mexican is
riding a bike?

Chase after him, it’s
probably yours!

Why are Mexicans so short?

When they’re young, their
parents say, “When you get bigger you have to get a good job.”

What do you call a Mexican
without a lawn mower?

Unemployed.

How many Mexicans does it take
to screw in a light bulb?

Doesn’t matter, they’re
to short to reach the socket.

How do you get 50 Mexicans is a
phone booth?

Throw food stamps in it.

FUNNY ARTICAL

2009-05-15T00:35:00.000-07:00

Confucius Says

Confucius
Says:

Man who wants pretty nurse, must
be patient.

Man who leap off cliff jump to
conclusion.

Man who love and loses, have not
right lawyer.

When lady say `no?she mean
`perhaps?when she say `perhaps?she mean `yes?but when she say `yes?
she not a lady.

Man who run in front of car get
tired.

Man who run behind car get
exhausted.

When man 60 marry girl 25, like
buying book for someone else to read.

Man who pushes piano down
mineshaft get A flat miner.

FUNNY ARTICAL

2009-05-15T00:30:00.000-07:00

Unlucky Young Man

A
young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The
pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks
which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've
been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the
condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having
dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a
feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."

"Once
she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me
the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and
leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his
girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and
they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several
minutes.

The girl leans over to him and says, "You never
told me that you were such a religious person."

The boy
leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your
father is a pharmacist."

FUNNY ARTICAL

2009-05-15T00:26:00.000-07:00

How Poor or Rich!

One
day, a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country so he
could have his son see how poor country people were. They stayed one
day and one night at the farm of a very humble farm family.

When they got back home the
father asked the son, "What did you think of the trip"?

The son replied, "Very nice
Dad."

Dad said, "Did you notice
how poor they were?"

"Yes".

"So, what did you learn
from this trip?"

"I've learned that we have
one dog in the house, and they had four. We have a fountain and
imported lamps in our garden, they have a stream with no end and the
stars in the sky. Our garden goes to the edge of our property, they
have the entire horizon as their back yard." At the end of the
son's reply the father was speechless and then his son said, "Thank
you Dad, for showing me how poor we really are.

FUNNY ARTICAL

2009-05-15T00:20:00.000-07:00

Bedroom Football

An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man cut a fart and says
“seven points.”

His wife rolls over and asks, “What in the world was that?”

The old man says, “Touchdown, I’m ahead 7 to nothing.”

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown,
tie, score.”

After about ten minutes later he old man farts again and says,
Touchdown I’m ahead 14 to 7.

Now starting to get into this the wife quickly farts again and
says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

The old man strains
really hard but, to no avail he can’t fart, so not to be
outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and strains real
hard to get out just one more fart. Straining real hard the old man
tries so hard he poops in the bed.

The wife asks, “Now what
in the world was that?”

The old man replies, “Half-time, switch sides.”

GOOD MORNING

2009-05-13T00:14:00.000-07:00

GOOD MORNING
Just a note to say hello,
Before I start my day;
Couldn't help but drop a line,
To my friends here and away.
As I sip my hot coffee,
Thoughts of you have crossed my mind;
I'm sending morning greetings,
And hope your day is fine.
I have to go for now my friend,
Have lots to do today;

Just wanted to say good morning,

And you Have a nice day!!!

YU MAMA Jokes

2009-05-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

McDonalds

Yo mamas just like Mcdonalds... 5 billion

people served world wide

Gas money

Yo mama so stupid,

she sold her car to get gas money!

Getting Smarter

A young boy had been taken for his first visit to a nudist

camp by his parents. He was surprised at the different

sizes of the male organs and mentioned it to his father.

The father, being rather well endowed,

explained that it was a measure of intelligence,

the big ones being smart and the small ones being dumb.

That afternoon the father was looking for his wife and asked his son if he had seen his mother.
"I saw her about ten minutes ago, She was with a real dumb man, but he seemed to be getting smarter all the time."

YU MAMA Jokes

2009-05-08T07:10:00.000-07:00

Yo Mama Fat

Yo Mama so fat...her clothes come in three sizes.

XL, Jungle, and AHH... ITS COMING!

Yo mama so nasty

Yo mama so nasty, I asked her what was for dinner,

and she climbed on the table and spread

her legs and said fish and crabs!

Gas money

Yo mama so stupid,

she sold her car to get gas money!

Yo Mama's so drunk

Yo Mama's so drunk she would have died of

starvation if it wasn't for the olives in her drinks.

Your mom as like a brick... shes always getting laid!

So stupid

Your mama's so stupid she stole

free cakes from the baker.

FUNNY BOX

2009-04-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

DECENT JOKES

KNOWING YOURSELF

Make yourself a better person and know who you

are before you try and know someone

else and expect them to know you. ?

STUPID PYJAMAS

Last night I desperately missed you

I wanted to feel u on my naked body.

I had to go to bed without you....

where are u stupid pyjamas.....!

NAUGHTY SMS

A girl phoned me the other day and

said…”Come on over,there’s nobody home.” I went over.

Nobody was homeI really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room.

on my bed&lights is off & we get under the cover together..

2 show u my glow in the dark watch.

LOVE SMS

Love is a divine feeling Love is a divine feeling Butwhen u

lost love u r lost love is the strongest intangiblething

A weapon that makes u strongandcan

hurt more than a bullet...

BOLLYWOOD JOKES

Munna Bhai & Circuit Jokes

* Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay gharja raha tha kayachanak bijli chamki,

badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola:

Lagta hai pahunch gai...

MISS YOU SMS

My eyes R hurting coz I can't C U,

My arms R empty coz I can't hold U,

My lips R cold coz I can't kiss U but,

My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U!

EROTIC JOKES

D U M B
What is the dumbest part on a man's body?

The penis. It has a head with no brain,

it hangs out with two nuts and

it lives around the corner from an asshole!

BIRTHDAY TEXT

• A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day

journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

EASTER TEXT SMS

Easter is a promise God renews to us in each spring.

May the promise of Easter fill your heart with peace and joy! Happy Easter!

POLITICAL JOKES

Democrat's Concession

The election is over the results are well known.The voice of the people

has clearly been shown Lets all pull together and show by our deeds

Thatwe will give Bush all the help that he needs Forget all our

differences and let bitterness pass Ill kiss your elephant

And you kiss my ass...

Decent Jokes

2009-04-28T00:58:00.000-07:00

KNOWING YOURSELF

Make yourself a better person and know who you

are before you try and know someone

else and expect them to know you. ?

WHO YOU TRUST

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what

you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more

careful about who you trust next time around.

GRATEFUL

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before

meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet

the person, we will know how to be grateful.

WASTING YOUR TIME

Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't

willing to waste their time on you. ?YOUR SMILE

Never frown, even when you are sad, because

you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

YOU CAN'T...

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting

right beside them knowing you can't have them.

BEAUTIFUL MOON

I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful...

I look at you.. I.. I... I'd rather look at the moon again.. ;)

TYPE OF EGGS

There r 6 types eggs.

Chicken egg = ji dan,

Duck egg = ya dan,

Bomb = zha dan,

Person readin dis = hun dan,

if u r smilin nw = chun dan &

if angry = ben dan.

Erotic Jokes

2009-04-28T00:49:00.000-07:00

DUMB

What is the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis. It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole!

SAGGY BOOB

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!

BLOW JOB

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!

COVER ME

What did the Dick say to the Condom? 'Cover me!!! I'm going in...' ?

TITS DAIRY

I'd willingly fertilize Mary, And watch for 9 months her shape vary, From the very first day, To the child-birth display, When her tits would turn into a dairy.

Suspense

how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!!

Statistics

At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this SMS.

Farmer Joneshas

farmer Joneshas got no sheep,isn't life a drag?
coz they're all burning in a fieldhe's got no sheep to shag.

Gary Gliter

*Newsflash*The FA have just announced garly gliter the next England Coach.
The appontment collapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's.

Ba Ba White Sheep

ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4 kebabs & shepherds pie.

Leather Heather

There was a young girl called heather,whos cunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together.

Little Miss Drugy

little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed along came a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.

Jack and Jill Jack & Jill

went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER ?IRA what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you run
cause he's got a grenade in his mouth.

Dear Mammy love annie

There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.

Cock Sucker Detecotor

This is a cock sucker detectorPlease blow in the phone..... .. scanning....
The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...COCK SUCKER !! ?Pink Vagina Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex.

A pink rose

with loveley details.And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise.

Red Riding Hood Bad

wolf told red riding hood.
Lift your top so i can suck your tits.
No she said lifting her skirt.Eat me like the fucking book says!

Fuck
for money sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for moneybut if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money.

Erotic Jokes

2009-04-28T00:44:00.000-07:00

CARS

Man1: my wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank pls.'

DEPRESSED

A girl asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every morning they rub yours 4 30 minutes and don't f**k u, u will feel the same?

BAR STOOL

How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down.

VIAGRA CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION

As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you

WE CAN MULTIPLY

Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

SNOW WHITE

*NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported 2 hav pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and shouted, 'LIE BASTARD LIE'

GLOW IN THE DARK

I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark

PENIS & BALLS

Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Everytime u go in u never bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!

STUPID PYJAMAS

Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!

BRUSH MY TEETH

I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth

RING

I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....

Erotic Jokes

2009-04-28T00:25:00.000-07:00

GOOD MANNERS

Three good manners of male penis.
1)Courteous-it stands before performing.
2)Emotional-it cries during the performance.
3)Polite-it bows down after the performance.

MISTAKES

Learn from your parents' mistakes - Use birth control!

PICTURE
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

MAN

Today, in style are small cars, watches, skirts and mobile-phones... It will come the time when SMALL PENIS will be in style, and then you will be the man!!!

COCUNUT

What’s hairy on the outside and moist inside, begins with a 'C' ends with a 'T' and has U' and 'N' in the middle?
Answer: 'COCUNUT'

SHOWTIME

Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!
LEFT LEG, RIGHT LEG What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?
Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

SEX MACHINE

When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And upon my headstone will be seen, here lies the bones of a f**king machine.

SEX ON TEXT

Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!

MIss You SMS

2009-04-27T19:59:00.001-07:00

My eyes R hurting coz I can't C U,

My arms R empty coz I can't hold U,

My lips R cold coz I can't kiss U but,

My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U!

I heard someone whisper ur name,

but when i turned around to c who it was,

i notice i was alone,

then i realize it was my heart telling me

that i miss u.

4getn u is hard 2 do, 4gtn me is up2 u,

4gt me not, 4gt me neva,

but don’t 4get,

we’re gr8 2gether

among ur frens i care 4 u da most,

among ur frens i lov u da most,

among ur frens u hurt me d most coz....

i know dats all im 2 u... among ur frens

Luv will fly if held too lightly.

Love will die if held too tightly.

How should I hold u.

How do I know if

I'm still keeping you or I'm letting go...

Luv can be bad,it can treat u lik dirt.

Theres always a risk of u getting hurt.

Luv is restless & luv is a flirt.

Luv has places to go and people to hurt.

It only takes a minute to get a crush on someone,

an hour to like someone & a day to love someone,

but it takes a lifetime to forget someone

I hide my tears when i say your name but the pain in my heart

is stil the same.though i smile and seem carefree

theres no1 who misses u more than me!!

Wot u see as truth wot u see as lies remember that

true friendship never dies.although we may change &

drift apart,ill always value u deep within my heart!

I miss u wen ur far away.I think about u every nite &

day.Even if we cant b 2gether.

I will miss u now & forever!

I luved u once u luved me not.

i luved u twice but i 4got.

u neva luv me u neva will but even so i luv u still.

Weve gone our own way our lives grew apart &

weve made a life wiv another.but despite of

how far apart we grew 2 me

there still is no other!

Remember me and bare in mind

A faithful girl is hard to find

This is always good and true

So dont go changing old for new!

I no u think dat u broke my heart but i knew ur game rite from da start.

i saw ur game and played it 2 so look here playa da jokes on u!

So btween da miles & btween da years ts inevitable

but its true.dat seasons may change &

people may change but my heart always belonged 2 u!

Wen life changes & we go our separate wayz.

u will still be in my heart til my dyin dayz.

i tell no lie dis is true.da world has nva seen a freind like u.

I'd climd the highest mountain.

I'd swim the ocean blue

I'd do anything at all my dear- Just

to get away from you.

As we go on we rememba all d times we had 2gether.

&as our life changes cum whateva we will still be "friends forever"

Ur the one i love.the one I need.

but bad mistakes Ive done indeed.

in search for forgivness and happyness too.

I want to say that I love u

J O K E S B O X F U N

2009-04-20T00:43:00.000-07:00

BOLLYWOOD JOKES
Munna Bhai & Circuit Jokes
* Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar
ja raha tha kayachanak bijli chamki,
badal garje, jor se baarish
shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola:
Lagta hai pahunch gai...

LOVE SMS
Love is a divine feeling Love is a divine feeling But

when u lost love u r lost love is the strongest intangible

thing A weapon that makes u strongand

can hurt more than a bullet...

NAUGHTY SMS
A girl phoned me the other day and
said…”Come on over,there’s nobody home.

” I went over. Nobody was home

I really deeply wish tat u r here
with me in my room.

on my bed&lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.

BIRTHDAY TEXT
• A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day
journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

Easter Text SMS
Easter is a promise God renews to us in each spring. May the promise of Easter fill your heart with peace and joy! Happy Easter!

Politicial Jokes
Democrat's Concession The election is over the results are well known.

The voice of the people has clearly been shownLets all pull together and show by our deedsThatwe will give Bush all the help that he needs

Forget all our differences and let bitterness pass
Ill kiss your elephantAnd you kiss my ass...

Bill Gates Decides to Sell Windows

2009-04-20T00:33:00.000-07:00

Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft ..... after receiving letter from India's Mr Banta Singh Letter reproduced below Quote

To : Bill Gates, Microsoft
From : Banta Singh of Punjab
Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this 'find 'button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem. 4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one Mr. Bill Gates:
P.S. : Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

Easter Text SMS

2009-04-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

Easter is a promise God renews to us in each spring. May the promise of Easter fill your heart with peace and joy! Happy Easter!

The spirit of easter is all about Hope, Love and Joyfull living. Happy Easter!

Let this joy of Easter may fill up your heart today and the whole year ahead. Happy Easter!

The Lord came to earth with a life to give, so each one of us may continue to live. Happy Easter!

Let every man and woman count himself immortal. Let him catch the revelation of Jesus in his resurrection. Let him say not merely, "Christ is risen," but "I shall rise." - Phillips Brooks

The cross of Christ shows us that God's love is of deepest descent...universal distribution and of eternal duration. - Dr. Fred Barlow

Jesus cannot forget us; we have been graven on the palms of his hands. - Lois Picillo

Christianity begins where religion ends...with the resurrection - Herbert Booth Smith

The stone was rolled away from the door, not to permit Christ to come out, but to enable the disciples to go in." - Peter Marshall

The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. - Robert Flatt

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W. Hall

Where man sees but withered leaves, God sees sweet flowers growing. - Albert Laighton

Q: What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade?

A: Hot, cross bunnies.

Send free sms to Pakistan

2009-03-28T00:37:00.000-07:00

Office Funn Project Manager & You

2009-03-05T10:07:00.000-08:00

Project Manager & You

Reduce Tensions with Mr. Bean

2009-03-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

To reduce tensions in the office or wherever…

Do these facial exercises every two hours
It is good for stress-relief !

NAUGHTY SMS

2009-01-04T10:55:00.000-08:00

A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over.

Nobody was home
I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room.on my bed&lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.

this is your mobile operator we can see that you are too dump to use your mobile please put it on the floor and start jumping on it

It’s better to stay away from girls. Only one or two can bring SMILE to your life, remaining will steel your HAPPINESS from your life

FRIENDSHIP DAY SMS

2009-01-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

Sweet friendship sms
Rasmalaai?Nope!Gulab jaman?Nah!Let me c.

How bout jalebi?Hmm… Nope!Damn!

Still cant find anything as sweet as U.

What is sweet but not Honey.?
What is sweet but not Honey,Precious but not Money,

Bright but not Sunshine,Improves with time but not

Wine???Its….OUR FRIENDSHIP!!!

True friends
True friends are thoseWho Care without hasitation,

Remember without Limitation,

Forgive without any Explanation,

and Love even with little Communication!!!

BOLLYWOOD JOKES

2009-01-04T10:36:00.000-08:00

Gabbar: Arey o Sambha

Gabbar: Arey o Sambha

Sambha: Ji Sardar

Gabbar: Kitne Admi the re?

Sambha: Do Sardar

Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?

Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad ata hai.

Gabbar: Aur Do ke pehle?

Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai

Gabbar: To bich mein kaun aata hai?

Sambha: Bich mein koi nahi aata

Gabbar: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?

Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se

bada hai.

Gabbar: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?

Sambha Do ek se Ek bada hai?

Gabbar: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna

bada hai?

Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai,

mujhe goli mardo par meradimag to na khao

BOLLYWOOD JOKES

2009-01-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

Sholay in IT

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.
They reach Ramgad and started shouting: “Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya “.
Thakur [with anger]: “Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai.”
Kaalia: “Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?”
Thakur: “Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai.”
Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.
Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: “Ha ha… thakur ne freshers ko liya hai, Ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate.”
Veeru shouts: “Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain,Kuch bhi kar sakte hain.”
Jay hits his keyboard,then says: “jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya .”
AT GABBAR’S DEN…
Gabbar: “Kitne bugs the?”Kaalia: “Do sarkaar.”
Gabbar: “Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake? Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga? Naya assignment dega …aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi… barobar milegi.”
[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. “Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?”
Sambaa: “Chhey sarkaar.”
Gabbar: “Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai.” [logout - logout - logout].
“Haan ab theek hai… ab tera kya hoga”
Kaalia?”
Kaalia: “Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha.”Gabbar: “To ab documentation kar!

BOLLYWOOD JOKES

2009-01-04T10:21:00.000-08:00

Munna Bhai & Circuit Jokes

* Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar ja raha tha kay

achanak bijli chamki,badal garje, jor se baarish

shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai

* Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do. Saheb: Kal aana. Bhikhari:
Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony
mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.

* Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada kaya Acha
Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri Akalmandi?Pati:
Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai

* â€œ Munnabhai: Ae circuit yeh kutte poonch
kyun hilate hain? Bole to Dog tail shaking WHY?
Circuit: Common sense hai bhai ab poonch kutte ko
to nahi hila sakti hai na. â€

* Munnabhai: Are Ek bakara Talaab me Gir gaya hai aab

wo sala kaise bahar aayegaa ?????
Cirkit: Bhai Geela Hoker, Tension nahi Lene kaa …!!!!!!

Christmas Greetings Wishes

2008-12-23T11:43:00.001-08:00

May joy and happiness snow on you, may the bells jingle

for you and may Santa be extra good to you! Merry Christmas!

Wish you a Merry Christmas and may this festival

bring abundant joy and happiness in your life!

You are special, you are unique; may your Christmas

be also as special and unique as you are! Merry Christmas!

Sending the warmest Christmas wishes to you and your family.

May God shower his choicest blessings on you and your family this Christmas.

It is that time of the year again, when you are thankful

for everything merry and bright. May this Christmas be a delight!

Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

• May all your days be merry and bright and may your

Christmas be white! Merry Christmas!

• May this Christmas be bright and cheerful and may the

New Year begin on a prosperous note!
• Here's wishing you all the joys of the season.

Wish you and your family a Merry Christmas!
• May this Christmas be so special that you never ever

feel lonely again and be surrounded by loved ones throughout!

• Love, Peace and Joy came down on earth on Christmas

day to make you happy and cheerful. May Christmas spread cheer in your lives!

• Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply

religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-23T11:43:00.000-08:00

May joy and happiness snow on you, may the bells jingle for you and may Santa be extra good to you! Merry Christmas!

• Wish you a Merry Christmas and may this festival bring abundant joy and happiness in your life!

• You are special, you are unique; may your Christmas be also as special and unique as you are! Merry Christmas!

• Sending the warmest Christmas wishes to you and your family. May God shower his choicest blessings on you and your family this Christmas.

• It is that time of the year again, when you are thankful for everything merry and bright. May this Christmas be a delight! Wishing you a Merry Christmas!
• May all your days be merry and bright and may your Christmas be white! Merry Christmas!

• May this Christmas be bright and cheerful and may the New Year begin on a prosperous note!
• Here's wishing you all the joys of the season. Wish you and your family a Merry Christmas!
• May this Christmas be so special that you never ever feel lonely again and be surrounded by loved ones throughout!
• Love, Peace and Joy came down on earth on Christmas day to make you happy and cheerful. May Christmas spread cheer in your lives!
• Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

Christmas Greetings SMS

2008-12-23T11:33:00.000-08:00

Christmas may be many thingsor it may be a few.

For you, the joyis each new toy;for me;

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,

and behold, everything is softer and

more beautiful.

O>O>O>O

Jingle bells Jingle bells what fun it is to wish

our friends a very merry christmas.
O>O>O>O
Bells are ringing the wishes of christmas day the flying

snowflakes send my most sincere blessings to you merry christmas.
O>O>O>O
Faith makes all things possible,Hope makes all things work,

Love makes all things beautiful,May you have all the three for this Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
O>O>O>O
Somehow, not only for Christmas, But all the long year through,

The joy that you give to others, Is the joy that comes back to you.

And the more you spend in blessing,

The poor and lonely and sad,

The more of your heart’s possessing,

Returns to you glad.
O>O>O>O
Joy resounds in the hearts of those who believe in the miracle of Christmas!

Wishing you all the peace, joy, and love of the season!

Season’s Greetings!
O>O>O>O
There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas

you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
O>O>O>O
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind.

To cherish peace and goodwill,

to be plenteous in mercy,

is to have the real spirit of

Christmas.
O>O>O>O
Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind;

Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.
O>O>O>O
Don’t expect too much of Christmas Day. You can’t crowd into it any

arrears of unselfishness and kindliness that may have

accrued during the past twelve months.
O>O>O>O
Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall,

the genial flame of charity in the heart.
O>O>O>O
A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all,

But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish,

it grows small.

O>O>O>O

NEW YEAR SMS

2008-12-17T09:54:00.000-08:00

Each moment in a day has its own value. Morning brings HOPE,

Afternoon brings FAITH, Evening brings LOVE, Night brings REST,

Hope you will all of them everyday.

HAPPY NEW YEAR
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Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,Sitaro ne aasma se salam bheja hai,

Mubarak ho apko naya saal,Hum ne advance me ye piagam bheja hai.

Happy New Year.
<@@@@@@@@>

Fresh Air....

Fresh Idea....

Fresh Talent....

Fresh Energy....

I wish U to have a .....

Sweetest Sunday,

Marvellous Monday,

Tasty Tuesday,

Wonderful Wednesday,

Thankful Thursday,

Friendly Friday,

Successful Saturday.

Have a great Year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR
<@@@@@@@@>

New Year is the time to unfold new horizons & realize new dreams,

to rediscover the strength & faith within u,

to rejoice in simple pleasures & gear up 4 a new challenges.

Wishin u a truly fulfilling 2009
<@@@@@@@@>

When the mid-nite bell rings tonight...Let it signify new and better things for you,

let it signify a realisation of all things you wish for,

Let it signify a year of courage and believes,

Wishing you a very...very...very prosperious 2009.
<@@@@@@@@>

Naye saal aaye banke ujale, Naye saal aaye banke ujale,

Khul jaye aap ki kismat ka tale, Hamesha aap pe rahe meherban Oparwale,

Chand tare bhi aap pe hi rosni dale.

Happy New year
<@@@@@@@@>

Wishing U Every Happiness N joY On NEW YEAR,

It is a Time ForPleasant Surprises To Unwrap N

Wonderful Moments To Be spent With Dear Ones Near....

* HaPpY NeW YeAr *
<@@@@@@@@>

When the mid-nite bell rings tonight...Let it signify new and

better things for you,let it signify a realisation of all things you wish for,

Let it signify a year of courage and believes,

Wishing you a very...very...very prosperious 2007
<@@@@@@@@>

Es Naye Saal meinJo tu chahe wo tera ho,Har din khubsoorat aur ratein roshan ho,

Kamiyabi chumte rahe tere kadam humesha yaar,

Naya Saal Mubarak ho tujhe mere yaar.
<@@@@@@@@>

12 Month of Happiness,52 Weeks of Fun,365 Days Success,

8760 Hours Good Health,52600 Minutes Good Luck,

3153600 Seconds of Joy...and

that's all!_

HAPPY_NEW_YEAR
<@@@@@@@@>

Aaj k baad naya saal aayegaBapu ne bola hai k network jam

hogato apun aajhi vinamrata se wish kar rela haibole to

Happy New year.
<@@@@@@@@>

Aa gale lag ja mere yaar,Dedoon Jadu Ki jhappi do char,

Aaise hi katjaye Zindegi without any riskEs ummid ke

sath Wish You a ......Very HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007
"Happy New Year" in Different Languages

:Afgani Saale Nao Mubbarak

:Afrikaans Gelukkige nuwe jaar

:Albanian Gezuar Vitin e Ri

:Armenian Snorhavor Nor Tari

:Arabic Antum salimoun

:Assyrian Sheta Brikhta

:Azeri Yeni Iliniz Mubarek!

:Bengali Shuvo Nabo Barsho

:Bulgarian ×åñòèòà Íîâà Ãîäèíà(pronounced "Chestita Nova Godina")

:Cambodian Soursdey Chhnam Tmei

:Catalan FELIÇ ANY NOU

:Chinese Xin Nian Kuai Le

:Corsican Language Pace e Salute

:Croatian Sretna Nova godina!

:Cymraeg (Welsh) Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

:Czechoslovakia Scastny Novy Rok

:Denish Godt Nytår

:Dhivehi Ufaaveri Aa Aharakah Edhen

:Dutch GELUKKIG NIEUWJAAR!

:Eskimo Kiortame pivdluaritlo

:Esperanto Felican Novan Jaron

:Estonians Head uut aastat!

:Finnish Onnellista Uutta Vuotta

:French Bonne Annee

:Gaelic Bliadhna mhath ur

:Galician [NorthWestern Spain] Bo Nadal e Feliz Aninovo

:German Prosit Neujahr

:Greek Kenourios Chronos

:Gujarati Nutan Varshbhinandan

:Hawaiian Hauoli Makahiki Hou

:Hebrew L'Shannah Tovah

:Hindi Naye Varsha Ki Shubhkamanyen

:Hong kong (Cantonese) Sun Leen Fai Lok

:Hungarian Boldog Ooy Ayvet

:Indonesian Selamat Tahun Baru

:Iranian Saleh now mobarak

:Iraqi Sanah Jadidah

:Irish Bliain nua fe mhaise dhuit

:Italian: Felice anno nuovo :Japan

: Akimashite Omedetto Gozaimasu

:Kabyle: Asegwas Amegaz

:Kannada: Hosa Varushadha Shubhashayagalu

:Kisii: SOMWAKA OMOYIA OMUYA

:Khmer:

Sua Sdei tfnam tmei

:Korea: Saehae Bock Mani ba deu sei yo!

:Kurdish:

NEWROZ PIROZBE :

Lithuanian:

Laimingu Naujuju Metu :Laotian: Sabai dee pee mai :Macedonian Srekjna Nova Godina

:Malay Selamat Tahun Baru :Marathi : Nveen Varshachy Shubhechcha

:Malayalam : Puthuvatsara Aashamsakal :Maltese Is-Sena t- Tajba

:Nepal Nawa Barsha ko Shuvakamana

:Norwegian Godt Nyttår :Papua New Guinea Nupela yia i go long yu :Pampango (Philippines) Masaganang Bayung Banua

:persian Saleh now ra tabrik migouyam

:Philippines Manigong Bagong Taon :Polish

: Szczesliwego Nowego Roku

:Portuguese Feliz Ano Novo

:Punjabi Nave sal di mubarak

:Romanian AN NOU FERICIT

:Russian S Novim Godom

:Samoa Manuia le Tausaga Fou

:Serbo-Croatian Sretna nova godina

:Sindhi Nayou Saal Mubbarak Hoje

:Singhalese Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa

:siraiki Nawan Saal Shala Mubarak Theevay

:Slovak A stastlivy Novy Rok

:Slovenian sreèno novo leto

:Somali Iyo Sanad Cusub Oo Fiican!

:Spanish Feliz Ano ~Nuevo

:Swahili Heri Za Mwaka Mpyaº

:Swedish GOTT NYTT ÅR! /Gott nytt år!

:Sudanese Warsa Enggal

:Tamil Eniya Puthandu Nalvazhthukkal

:Telugu Noothana samvatsara shubhakankshalu

:Thai Sawadee Pee Mai :

Turkish Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun

:Ukrainian Shchastlyvoho Novoho Roku

:Urdu Naya Saal Mubbarak Ho

:Uzbek Yangi Yil Bilan

:Vietnamese Chuc Mung Tan Nien

:Welsh :

Blwyddyn Newydd Dda!